Nimejua Hii industry  ni  hard. You see, I have always reasoned, from my own estimation and assessment , that I was one of the cool kids; then it recently hit me like a bag of rocks that I am not. Nimekuwa tu huku kwa ground nikijidanganya😂

For the first time in my life, I came to the realization that I am, and have always been, a nerd; a serious Nerd. I finally realized that this is what I am and I realized my entire life has been a lie. 

I realized that I don’t know the things people consider to be cool and I am ok with it but i can tell you most capitals of the world since i was 10 years old. I can’t tell you exactly who this trending tanasha person is but I am pretty familiar with Einstein’s general relativity. I can’t tell you who won what at the Grammys this year, but I can tell you who won the 5 Nobel prizes last year and why. 

I can’t tell you which song is number 1 in Kenya right now but I can tell you that I have noticed that the blue supergiant star Betelgeuse has visibly dimmed in the night sky and there is general consensus is that it may go supernova within the next 10000 years or so. I can’t exactly tell you what Sauti sol’s genre of music is called but I can tell you that Kip Thorne is a theoretical astrophysicist and Peter Higgs is a theoretical particle physicist.  

I don’t know who the hottest artist in the world is right now but I can tell you that kip Thorne is the it guy in science right now. If you know me, You know I can’t dance to save my life, Siwezi dance hata, but I can explain to a child the difference between nuclear fission and fusion. Though I disdain the English language, I am very familiar with its nuances and subtleties and I am more likely to use egregious in a sentence than ‘you guy my guy’. 

I can’t tell you who is the good or bad guy in any of the marvel and dc comic movies but I am pretty familiar with geopolitics and who stands with who and why, and I can tell you how most wars in modern history have unfolded. I am more familiar with the Rothschilds of the world than I am with the kardashians. 

I have physical potraits of winnie mandela, Julius Nyerere, Thomas sankara, Fidel castro, Chinua achebe et al but I have never owned a single hip hop artist’s potrait. I hate loud clubs, I’d much rather chill in a bar that has no music and have deep conversations with interesting people. I hate and suck at small talk, I suck at ‘whats up?’ I’d rather discuss existentialism, Darwinism, spiral galaxies and the fibbonacci sequence. I will not contribute to a group chat on whatsapp but I will have lengthy debates on the same platform about things as abstract as agnosticism or modern history on the same platform with kindred spirits. I  have two cars that haven’t had radios for nearly 3 years despite me being constantly on the road, because I’d rather listen to my own thoughts and the things that go on in my head. 

Sijui odi dance but I can describe in detail what happens from the moment a pope dies to the moment a new one gives the ‘urbi et orbi’ address from the balcony of the sistine chapel overlooking st peters square. Hell, I can recite verbatim  both in English and latin that proclamation ‘Annuncio vobis gaudium magnum’ that the seniormost cardinal archdeacon recites to introduce the new pope. 

I can tell you that very few movies excite me except the proper classics and I watch and rewatch them religiously, I can recite quentin tarantino’s pulp fiction by heart and I can tell you the only three movies to win all five major oscars.

I love collecting sport trivia and stats more than I love watching actual sports; I can tell you how most sports are scored and who holds most records for what in them, and I can tell you that Oleg salenko is the only player to score five goals in a single World Cup match when Russia beat Cameroon 6-1 in USA 1994 . I know all track records and times,male and female, by heart from the 100m to the marathon. 

I don’t know a single otile brown’s song but i am familiar with carbon offsets and credits.  And I love great books, poetry and I like to tell simple stories in a complex manner. 

I am extremely drawn to intelligent people. I am sapioxeual and I place intellect much higher than physical appearance. I don’t hold money or material things in high regard and I always prefer to hang out with intelligent people with a keen sense of humor, their financial or social standing not withstanding. And I hate putting up appearances.

Yes, I have finally completely accepted that I am a total nerd and if I had a chance to do this all over again, I would still much rather be a nerd. 

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